Inside Thoughts

Weird – The New Normal (Part 1)

I am without exception, the weirdest person I know. And that is normal

Is anyone out there super quirky? Is anyone struggling to ‘fit’ into a cookie cutter world? Is anyone out there feeling like a misfit at their work, at their mum’s group, in their church? Stop it! Don’t waste another moment.

Stop trying to fit some preconceived identity. Who created that groove anyway?

For those of you who don’t know me, perhaps you’re thinking, “Easy for you to say. You are probably a six foot model who looks like Heidi Klum!” No I do not. In fact Heidi Klum is probably the opposite of what I look like. Halle Berry on the other hand. No, that is a lie. I do not look like Halle Berry either. The only similarity between me and Halle, is the amount of melanin in our skin. Let me share some of my quirks with you:

 

I am short

I barely make five foot. I hardly have any breasts (today I went running without a sports bra). I am also hairy. I’m so hairy in fact that when I was 14, Lachlan from my swimming squad asked me why I had a moustache! Now I wax every week. That’s right people, every single week! Ask my husband. I wax my entire body. Including my face. When we first got married I remember Mark walking in on me in the bathroom while I was waxing my moustache.

His face was a mixture of shock and bewilderment as a piece of wax hung off my upper lip.

“You don’t have a moustache,” he told me incredulously. “That’s because, my love, I wax every week.” Ah, poor naive Mark. A lovely induction to the joys of marriage.

 

I am terrible at directions.

I mean terrible. I’m the worst I know. Truly I have never ever met any grown up who is worse than I am finding their way around. I get lost everywhere, all the time. I continually amaze my family. I surprise my friends. Especially my genius sister who could find her way home from the moon without a map. Speaking of maps, I just cannot read a map. Even after genuinely studying them so hard my brain nearly had an infarct. Prior to GPS I would get lost, cry, drive some more, get even more lost, and then really wail. When I was younger I would call my Dad. Now I call Mark. I would yell at them trying to help me like it was their fault I was lost and didn’t know how to read a map. The invention of GPS actually genuinely changed my life. Then when google maps on phones became a thing, my whole world changed.

 

I love to eat half of things.

I told you I’m weird people. I’ll have tastes of things and leave the rest for later. If you live with me you will find half eaten bits of chocolate, apples, cake. All which I am ‘saving for later’ in the fridge or some other obscure place. I always do it, always have and always will. I don’t know why. I just don’t want the whole thing straight away. I know, weird.

 

I love online shopping.

“Who doesn’t?” you say. Well I love to online shop, fill the shopping trolley with multiple items of clothes. I’ll ponder, and look at the sizes, agonising over my ‘purchases.’ I spend hours doing this. My shopping cart has so many of my dream items.  After painstakingly picking my sizes and my clothing, I never buy them.

I’ll fill my trolley with 100’s of items, and never proceed to the check out.

I do it all the time. It’s almost my favourite thing to do. I like it more than eating little bites out of things and waxing my entire body. My husband thinks I’m crazy. I tell him he should be grateful. Who in their right mind would complain that their wife has an imaginary shopping addiction. Ha! One day I’ll shock his socks and actually buy my overloaded shopping cart, from Gucci!

 

I stare at other women

Seriously. I love to admire beauty around me. I love to see what other girls are wearing. I love admiring different eyes and different ways of putting on make up. I love looking at the different fashion tastes. I love a girl pulling off boots. Even the thigh high boots! I love girls in big ridiculous hats.

I love to approach a gorgeous girl, look her in the eyes and tell her she is the most beautiful person I have seen all day and mean every word.

Sometimes I can’t help myself. If we are at a cafe I’ll buy them something. Then things get really weird. My husband is used to it now. When he sees me approaching strangers and talking to a couple, he knows what’s up. Usually the girl looks overwhelmed, and deliciously undone at the same time. If there is a guy involved he just looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. One guy said “What about me?” I told him he was only ‘so so’.

 

I love weird food combinations

I love to put salt on my apples and oranges. I am obsessed with tomato and BBQ sauce. I eat it with every meal. Even if I’m dining out I ask for a side of BBQ sauce. If I’m too embarrassed to ask for it, I miss it. I think about it. I want it. Even in the two occasions in my life that I went ‘fine dining’ I wanted a side of BBQ sauce. Also, I love seaweed. Let me rephrase, I am completely obsessed with seaweed. I love it pickled at the sushi train. I like it plain with salt and chilli cooked to a crisp. I love to wrap the entire contents of my plate in it. I love it in a soup. I adore it in a salad. I pack it in my suitcase if I go travelling. My beloved friend even sent it over in a plane when I was living remote (Thank you Christine Pardon my special friend). I love it! I eat it everyday! Sometimes twice a day. I am weird people. I’m telling you, I’m the weirdest person I know.

 

Know what else?

I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. There is only one me.

God was having a good day when he made Christine Delicious Greenwood.

Why on earth would I want to be anyone other than who he created me to be. I choose to love every inch of myself. I am going to embrace every weird quirk and celebrate every part of myself because that’s how he created me. Mark Greenwood you are so blessed to be married to me! Reader, if you meet me, you will meet someone in love with herself and for some strange reason also in love with you.

 

Embrace it.

Take it from the short, hairy, seaweed loving brown girl who takes her side of BBQ sauce everywhere she goes. Stop wishing you are someone you are not. You are delicious, just the way you are. If you celebrate your quirks and everything you are, you will give others permission to do the same. What’s more, you will learn to cherish the unique personalities in others rather than compare yourself to them. Don’t waste another day my beloveds. Let’s fall in love with ourselves and each other.

You are deeply loved and richly cherished.

 

Christine Greenwood

The Healthy Hiccup

12 thoughts on “Weird – The New Normal (Part 1)

  1. Christine Parr says:

    I love this blog Christine’s must all have a touch of weirdness , my oldest best friend is also a Chrissy and when I first met her when I moved into a CLC which became Hillsong (Brian was then a Youth Leader) Girls discipleship house in Paddington Sydney when I was 18years old having just left home and moved to Sydney in 1981 .
    I arrived knowing it was the right place because it was prophesied I’d live in a house with a blue front door , she flew in wearing a see thru purple short 70’s dress with JC sandals and a pony tail she still wears today and declared loudly “I be just been healed of tonsitis and scabies “ We were instant best friends who lived in the dungeon of the Terrace house and shocked the other.conservatives by going out on the streets and saving people, some who we brought back to sleep on the couch.
    Oh and by the way Christine means Annointed ❤️🙏🏻

    1. Christine says:

      Love this Christine! Blessings

  2. Angela McCann-Bateman says:

    Love it, Chris

  3. Sara Harn says:

    Christine you crack me up but its all so true! I remember all your half eaten vegemite packets laying around delivery suite. We miss you, i hope life is treating you well. x

    1. Christine says:

      Hehe nothing has changed my love!

    2. Christine says:

      Omg that is so true! I miss those little jam packets! And I miss you.

  4. Ashlyn Baker says:

    Christine, I’m now kind of obsessed with you and your writing and fashion. I was completely confused today when you were walking towards me with your umbrella in the pouring rain and you offered me your umbrella!

    I had just walked out of the overly airconditioned woolies and my glasses fogged up so much I couldn’t really see. When I saw you walking towards me I must have been staring. I thought you were Davina at first through my misty glasses then I realised you weren’t but you were still familiar as I had seen your photo on Davinas insta and facebook. Anyway thank you for the thoughtful and touching gesture today – you are lovely. I was particularly moved by your blog post about your celebrating your spouse.

    God Bless xox

    1. Christine says:

      Oh Ashlyn! Hehe, what a treat to have met you. You are divine. Xo

  5. Murray says:

    I love salt on my apples. With some chilli too.

    1. Christine says:

      Murray! Your reading my article. I’m so blessed x

    2. Christine says:

      Mark likes anything you like Murray. So now he will too.

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