Changing The Way You Think & Live
My marriage is the best part of my life. My husband is my best friend, my confidant, my biggest cheerleader, and sometimes my most valuable critique.
Being completely entwined in someone else life forever and being devoted to one another is truly one of the most comforting and grounding components of my life.
But make NO mistake. A good marriage does NOT just happen.
I didn’t ‘fall’ in love all of a sudden. Love is Not a hole that we ‘fall’ into! It’s a decision we make every day. Having a good marriage is the fruit of choices that Greenie and I make every day to put our marriage first. And often it is the small things that count the most.
Here are three practical things that Greenie and I have learned along the way.
- 1. Play to your strengths
We all have things we rock at and other things that don’t quite jack us up. For example, I HATE cleaning. And I am terrible at it! Mark hates cooking, and aside from one dish (that he has cooked endlessly on repeat) he cannot cook and it stresses him out no end. So in our house Mark cleans. Twice a week he whips of his shirt and scrubs for two hours. The house sparkles. During the week I tidy, but I leave the heavy-duty stuff to him. I, on the other hand do all the cooking. I make his breakfast, lunch and dinner. I take great joy in doing this as I know if blesses him and he feels so loved and looked after. I no longer get upset if I’m home late and he hasn’t started dinner. It just isn’t on his grid. Just like folding the clothes are not on my radar. We play to our strengths.
- 2. Find ways to be apart of each other’s worlds in every way you can
Last weekend we went to Hobart for a medical conference on skin, dermatology and cosmetics. Sure, it was medical and Greenie didn’t have to come, but we wanted to travel together, and I wanted him to meet the people I would be working with and become a part of a world that I am passionate about. It was fantastic. Not only did we get to experience a new city together, he got to meet my colleagues and they got to meet him. He could put faces to names and understand a little more about medicine and what I do. Watching Him meet new people and go out of his way to support me in every way he could filled me with such gratitude and love.
Last Monday was his first day of The Academy term. I rearranged my day so I could be there, even for a little bit of it. I wanted to see him, in his element, doing what he loves. Being there meant so much to him. Seeing his students and what his days are like helps me to dream with him, support him, and show him how much I love him.
Showing up for one another is a powerful thing in a marriage and learning how to do this for each other has been lifechanging for our relationship.
- 3. Have Fun together
Having a drink or two together and laughing till we cry is something we do regularly. Exploring a fun new café, or city together. Walking at least twice a week and playing connection games with each other is always one of our favourite parts of the week.
We are always trying to think of ways we can do something fun and adventurous together. Investing in experiences and memories is something that has been one of the strongest parts of our marriage as it builds our friendship with each other and gives us memories and experiences that help build a bank for us to draw from if we become stressed and busy in day to day life.
Learning to prioritise these times, schedule them in, and treat them as non-negotiable, is something we have learned to do only in the last few years and our marriage has reaped the benefits beyond our wildest dreams.
So that’s My three standout tips for marriage that Greenie and I try to incorporate in our marriage.
I would love to hear what advice you have to give in this area? Marrieds?!
You are deeply loved and richly cherished,
Dr Christine Greenwood
Own Your Health: Changing the way you Think, Eat and Live.
Wink: If you want to know some connection games we play in our marriage, we wrote about it in our book called Connection. You can purchase here.
P.S have you read what’s your love language? Game changer in our marriage.